Monkeypox’s rebrand to the much cooler Mpox has significantly increased cases of earworms from Hanson’s 1997 hit song MMMBop. Afflicted persons can generally only remember the truly catchy chorus which loops itself continually, drowning out the usual interior monologue, which humans use to distract themselves from things they are supposed to be doing.
A potential treatment is being developed in which the verses of MMMBop are fed into the cerebral jukebox to dilute the chirpy chorus and render it less potent. A patient who is a keen horticulturalist did not respond well to the treatment, after being fed the lyric ‘Can you tell me? (If it’s going to be a daisy or a rose?) You say you can, but you don’t know’. The horticulturalist said they can tell a daisy and a rose by the leaves on the plant and other salient features.
A follow up treatment in which Hanson’s Christmas album will be administered is struggling to attract volunt-ears.