Widely Hated 90s Icon ‘Hanson’ To Run For Senate

By | May 24, 2016


After numerous failed and embarrassing attempts at a comeback, anti-immigration campaigner and writer of smash hit ‘Mmmbop,” Hanson, is set to run as an independent candidate for the Queensland Senate.

Despite being widely viewed as a one-hit wonder who should stay in the 90s, Hanson’s focus on pressing issues such as Halal certification and the failure of multiculturalism has struck a chord both with those who are frightened of foreigners and those who just love remembering kitsch 90s culture.

“There’s never been a better social climate for Hanson to make a political comeback,” a spokesperson for One Nation explained to The Backburner. “The 90s are hella in, Pogs and Pokemon cards are selling for loads on eBay, and Australia still crawls with an underbelly of insidious racism and xenophobia.”

“Some say Hanson only appeals to a fanatical minority, but that’s absolutely ridiculous. The entire Middle of Nowhere album was an infectiously sunny pop-rock hit selling around 10 million copies worldwide.”

Hanson is reportedly bizarrely popular with particular sections of voters, with one man telling The Backburner “Mmmbop is an absolute banger, nobody can deny it. Who can resist Hanson’s knack for crafting uplifting pop-rock beats and protecting the white Australian way of life?”

A Buzzfeed listicle entitled “Only 90s Kids Will Remember Hanson!” has attracted more than 3 million views, featuring images of Hanson’s luscious, dreamy hair interspersed with nostalgia-inducing clips of Hanson’s 1996 maiden parliamentary speech stating “We are in danger of being swamped by Asians.”

Hanson’s senate campaign will reportedly be self-funded, with the money coming entirely from royalties from smooth, heartfelt holiday album Snowed In.

The Backburner is Australia’s most trusted news source, it is quite obviously satire and shouldn’t be taken seriously or before operating heavy machinery.

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