No, Hanson Isn’t Coming To Chicago And Neither Is Proto Zoa From ‘Zenon’

By | June 1, 2016

DNA Info.

 Perhaps it was '90s nostalgia that prompted someone to create fake shows in Chicago for Hanson and fictional

AVONDALE — Hearts were going “boom boom” all over Avondale — but they’re about to break, instead.

Thousands of Chicagoans expressed interest in a Facebook event for a supposedly live performance by Proto Zoa, the heartthrob superstar in “Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century.”

The “space-stay” crooner was listed as performing at Kuma’s Corner, 2900 W. Belmont Ave., at noon July 15. Fans, predictably, went super nova.

“I never knew that I needed this until now,” wrote one Facebook user. Another declared, “DON’T Y’ALL DARE PLAY WITH MY TWEENAGE HEART!!!!!!!!”

For those not in the ’90s know, “Zenon” is perhaps the greatest thing to come out of Disney Channel Original Movies.

The 1999 flick stars Kirsten Storms as Zenon Kar, a 13-year-old girl living the neon-clad life in a 2049 space station.

The crafty teen has an undying love for the band Microbe and its frontman Proto Zoa, but things get complicated when she gets herself grounded … like, on Earth.

Of course, since it’s Disney, everything turns out fine — so fine, in fact, that Proto Zoa returns to chum it up with Zenon in “Zenon: The Zequel.”

But he will forever be remembered for Microbe’s smash hit, “Zoom Zoom Zoom.”

So, safe to say Proto Zoa in Avondale would be an even bigger hit than dining at Saved By The Max.

But a quick call to Kuma’s Corner killed our megastellar pipe dream. An employee at the burger pub said the fake event was set up by someone else and “not really happening.”

Zetus lapetus!

Your Chicago Events, the organization that created the Facebook events, isn’t real. Jacob Teel, a 26-year-old Lakeview resident, said he created the pages as a joke.

The fake “LIVE” shows are part of a running gag on Facebook, starting with Rammstein live at Olive Garden.

“There was also some help from random trolls,” Teel said. “Especially some guy that was saying he was the bassist from Proto Zoa.”

Teel created two other events: Hanson at Cheesie’s Pub and Grub in Lakeview and a show by Baha Men at Montrose Beach over Memorial Day weekend.

Also not so — unless we all missed that live performance of “Who Let the Dogs Out?” on Saturday.

Cheesie’s owner Chris Johnston confirmed the Hanson show was a no-go. Cheesie’s also flagged the “misleading” event, asking Facebook to remove it.

 Perhaps it was '90s nostalgia that prompted someone to create fake shows in Chicago for Hanson and fictional

Perhaps it was ’90s nostalgia that prompted someone to create fake shows in Chicago for Hanson and fictional “Zenon” pop star Proto Zoa.View Full Caption

Getty Images/Facebook

AVONDALE — Hearts were going “boom boom” all over Avondale — but they’re about to break, instead.

Thousands of Chicagoans expressed interest in a Facebook event for a supposedly live performance by Proto Zoa, the heartthrob superstar in “Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century.”

The “space-stay” crooner was listed as performing at Kuma’s Corner, 2900 W. Belmont Ave., at noon July 15. Fans, predictably, went super nova.

“I never knew that I needed this until now,” wrote one Facebook user. Another declared, “DON’T Y’ALL DARE PLAY WITH MY TWEENAGE HEART!!!!!!!!”

For those not in the ’90s know, “Zenon” is perhaps the greatest thing to come out of Disney Channel Original Movies.

The 1999 flick stars Kirsten Storms as Zenon Kar, a 13-year-old girl living the neon-clad life in a 2049 space station.

The crafty teen has an undying love for the band Microbe and its frontman Proto Zoa, but things get complicated when she gets herself grounded … like, on Earth.

Of course, since it’s Disney, everything turns out fine — so fine, in fact, that Proto Zoa returns to chum it up with Zenon in “Zenon: The Zequel.”

But he will forever be remembered for Microbe’s smash hit, “Zoom Zoom Zoom.”

So, safe to say Proto Zoa in Avondale would be an even bigger hit than dining at Saved By The Max.

But a quick call to Kuma’s Corner killed our megastellar pipe dream. An employee at the burger pub said the fake event was set up by someone else and “not really happening.”

Zetus lapetus!

Your Chicago Events, the organization that created the Facebook events, isn’t real. Jacob Teel, a 26-year-old Lakeview resident, said he created the pages as a joke.

The fake “LIVE” shows are part of a running gag on Facebook, starting with Rammstein live at Olive Garden.

“There was also some help from random trolls,” Teel said. “Especially some guy that was saying he was the bassist from Proto Zoa.”

Teel created two other events: Hanson at Cheesie’s Pub and Grub in Lakeview and a show by Baha Men at Montrose Beach over Memorial Day weekend.

Also not so — unless we all missed that live performance of “Who Let the Dogs Out?” on Saturday.

Cheesie’s owner Chris Johnston confirmed the Hanson show was a no-go. Cheesie’s also flagged the “misleading” event, asking Facebook to remove it.

But the cold, hard truth didn’t stop us from our full-blown ’90s nostalgia. We took a little time to catch up on what Hanson and Proto Zoa have been up to since their heydays. Turns out, they’re slaying the 2010s just like they slayed our hearts back in the day.

Phillip Rhys, who played Proto Zoa, has built up quite the resume since his Disney Channel days. After spots on “24,” “Nip/Tuck” and “Glee,” Rhys took some time to direct Sandra Oh and Darren Pettie in “The Scarecrow.”

The 43-year-old British actor also guest starred in the “Doctor Who” Christmas special last year — an honor shared in years past with Michael Gambon (Dumbledore in the “Harry Potter movies) and Kylie Minogue.

While Rhys has ditched the white, spiky hair of his interstellar alter ego, the 17 years since he zoom zoom zoomed into our hearts have treated him very kindly.

Here he is with Oh and Pettie in March:

And a few other photos, you know, for good measure:

Phillip Rhys [Getty Images]

As for the tousled-hair boy band, the trio continue to release albums and tour to this day. Their latest album, “Anthem,” was released in 2013 and became their eighth to chart on the U.S. Top 40.

Isaac, Taylor and Zac also keep things light with fans. The same year “Anthem” came out, the brothers launched Mmmhops beer with Mustang Brewing.

They’ve served as judges on “Cupcake Wars” and covered “Wait and Bleed” by heavy metal band Slipknot, pledging to release an entire album of covers as an April Fools’ Day joke in 2010.

(L-R) Zac Hanson, Taylor Hanson and Isaac Hanson of Hanson attend the iHeartRadio Music Festival on September 21, 2013, in Las Vegas, Nevada. [Getty Images]

So, long story short: It looks like Rhys and Hanson are too busy, anyway, to swing by Chicago this summer.

For now it seems, Proto Zoa will only be performing live in our hearts.