12 Reasons All You Wanted Was A Brother In The ’90s

By | May 30, 2016


I have brothers now, but I didn’t in the ’90s. I really, really wanted a brother. Mostly so I could have someone to fight meanies for me, but also so I could play Pokemon with someone who could play Ash (I wanted to be Pikachu, duh). There were lots of reasons for wanting a brother in the ’90s. A lot of them had to do with Hanson. Who were also a lot of our reasons for wanting a boyfriend. It was a fairly confusing time for feelings of fraternity and also of lust. Blame Paul Rudd in Clueless.

Brothers can be annoying. They fart on you or near you and it’s horrible. They give you wedgies and pretend to spit huge gobs of saliva on you. They tease you about the things they know you’re insecure about. But then as you start getting older, something magical happens. They start being your confidante and you theirs. You support each other. They lift the heavy things you can’t lift yourself because you might be small and/or have pathetic upper body strength. They become your best friends. (The farting never stops, though.) Here are 12 reasons why all you wanted was a brother in the ’90s.

1. So You Could Have Someone To Harmonize To “MmmBop” With

Sure, the Hanson Brothers were confusing because not only did you want brothers like them, you wanted to be on them. But overall, having someone to start a family band with: priceless.

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